Friday, February 2, 2007

Pictures Can Deceive

Do I take myself too seriously? Don't answer that. But seriously, can someone please pluck myself..out of myself for a moment? I wish there was a way to switch bodies, minds, on occasion. Just get out of my life and into someone else's. And it's not like my life is BAD. It's just fine. But it's me. Always thinking, analyzing, wondering, hoping, wishing, expecting...about everything. After I got my pink Geo Tracker in 2001, and things still didn't get better...that's when I realized that material things can't bring happiness.

Why is it that I'm 25, and I'm still wondering if I'm normal? Maybe because I wonder about it so means I'm not? I'm not an adolescent, but I still get that feeling you get when walking into the school cafeteria on the first day of high school, unsure as to who's in your lunch shift because maybe you have two friends and you fear you'll be sitting alone. So there's a rock in your stomach. Some ball of dread that things aren't right, that you're missing something. Something that other people who are living just like you are really get. And you're not being clued in. Your head's off. Your actions are off and your life is off. And if you're a girl, it's not that time of the month which has you really confused. You go from one week a month to four weeks a month with feelings of sadness and fear. Even though this has only been happening for one month, your life still feels like that annoying Zoloft commercial. I find speaking in second person a comfort.
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