When you go to a bar and order a mocktail of cranberry and seltzer with lime, trying to be a semi-sober, smooth grown-up, when they give it to you in a giant glass with an equally large bendy straw. When you're on a date.
Word Verification on web sites. They have "WjsuVxT" written in neon red on a pink striped background, and you're expected to type it?!
Stupid MySpace bulletins. Like the one where people say, "Everyone on MySpace is fake. If you're a non-fake real friend, you'll re-post this." I'm fake. I have highlights. So what?! And also bulletins by Tom Impersonators. It took me a couple of months, but by being stealth, I figured out that people can easily immitate Tom, and I no longer buy it.
People who put their kids up to their dirty work. I was walking through the park on Sunday, when this sweet little girl handed me a pamphlet. About Jesus. I looked up and there were her parents, watching. They knew I couldn't ignore this young girl, like I usually do when randoms hand out paperwork. They tricked me. That's mean!
When Sophie Sassypants confuses "bedtime" with "playtime." She's in her own kitty world most of the time, but the minute head hits pillow, it's all over. One-by-one, she drags her toys on the bed. I throw. She fetches. I throw far, hoping she won't have the strength to carry the catnip mouse 20 feet with her chompers. I'm wrong. So I eventually hide the toys in my nightstand drawer so I can sleep. Maybe I'm mean?