What can I say, I'm a Leo. I can be terribly shy and socially awkward, but I secretly looove to be the center of a attention. All week..."IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Hell, I even told the guy at the gas station yesterday, and he gave me a free Balance bar. During dinner and dancing, I would not take off my pink butterfly tiara. (Ooh, and at the club, there was an Abercrombie party...with lots of hot male models!)
And now I'm 25, which I actually LIKE. I cried when I turned 20, rejoiced at 21, got wasted at 22 and 23...and here I am. A woman who is just now beginning to grow up (only a little) and who feels immensely loved. To my pop and friends back home, here and all over the country: Thanks for being you. I no longer need to say, "Oh, it's just my dad back home." I have family all over the place. YOU! Lots of love.
Sunday, August 6, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Head Vomit
If my mind were my tummy after eating a giant jar of Nutella, I'd be puking right now.
- No one in Union City speaks English. And it pisses me off! "Has the 156 bus come by yet?" Blank stare. "One. Five. Six? Come by?" Blank stare. Points to bus sign. "Nevermind." Points to bus sign. Nods head. "I SAID nevermind!" If you don't speak English, please, don't even try to help me, OK? Because I just get pissed.
- Because my company houses several women's titles and weeklies, there's always bins full of self-help books in our "cafeteria." This week the special is books on Diabetes. But every so often, I approach my desk to find a book on dating. Coworkers leave them on my desk. I've acquired Dating For Dummies and Breakup Girl to the Rescue! to name a few. Since ex-roommate/coworker Courtney got a new job, I thought my "Singleton" stamp on my forehead would start to fade. Nope. Because today I found Dating: A Singles Guide to a Fun, Flirtatious and Possibly Meaningful Social Life sitting by my computer when I got in from lunch.
- I think I have stalker tendencies. Like, when I want to reach a particular friend, I repeatedly call and hang up until they answer. I hate to leave a message unless absolutely necessary. I just get this thought in my head, and I won't rest until I've let it out. Like when I was three hours late to work last week, I called my boss four times until I got her on the phone. Now I'm not only "Single Girl," but I'm "Psycho Single Girl" at work.
- The three-year-old twins I babysit for are soo funny. We played Tea Party on Saturday, and of course they wanted milk for their non-existent "tea." So I went upstairs and fetched a small dixie cup of milk. Then the girls got rowdy, started chucking miniature pink plastic plates everywhere. I ran upstairs to grab some towels and I came downstairs to find Olivia crying on the sofa with milk dripping down her face and hair. Alexa was sitting there, silent. I cleaned O up and said, "Alexa, what do you say to your sister?" "Sorry," she says. Good enough for me. Then later Dad comes home, Alexa runs to him and says "Tina bad!" The girls say that about me at least every other week. I always freak out that the parents are going to think I beat their baby girls or something. I offer to get the girls changed for bed, and Alexa yells, "Tina bad! Stay here and watch Dora. You can't come in our room!" So I watched Dora the Explorer by myself. While Dad did my job. And then when it's time for me to go, Alexa yells, "Bye!" and gives me the biggest kiss and hug ever.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Thursday Morning Commute
Thursday, July 20
I knew it was going to be an early morning because I was meeting my friend Amy at 7am for coffee. I usually wake up at 8am. I have a whole routine. Catch bus #1 at 8:27am, arrive in Union City at 8:58am, grab Dunkin coffee and muffin, catch bus #2 at 9:07am, arrive to work at 9:48am. Little did I know, this morning, my routine would be completely fucked.
6am Alarm goes off. Hit Snooze.
6:05am Amy calls to make sure I'm awake.
6:09am Alarm goes off. Hit Snooze.
6:18am Alarm goes off. Hit Snooze.
6:27am Alarm goes off. Realize it's 6:30am and rush to get ready.
6:45am Walk outside to meet Amy. Realize that mornings are really nice. It's quiet and there are birds that chirp. Secretly wish I was a morning person.
6:50am Meet Amy at Dunkin'.
8am After meeting with Amy, decide to catch an early bus, so as to please boss and get a head-start on morning. I'm a genius.
8:45am Still waiting for bus #1. WTF?!
9am Catch bus #1. Turns out the Lincoln Tunnel going into the city is backed up like a frat-house toilet. Leave message for boss apologizing profusely for the traffic.
9:10am Spot bus #2. Have driver let me off, race between cars to catch bus #2. Bang on door. He shakes his head. It's not an official bus stop, so he can't let me on. Luckily, I spot bus #1 still in traffic, so I race back and beg to be let back on the bus. He reluctanly opens the door, and yells at me for being so irresponsible.
9:45am Get off bus in Union City. Am too pissed to get another Dunkin' coffee. And I don't want to go to work with the shakes from too much joe.
9:55am Still waiting for bus #2. Leave boss another frantic message. Have no idea when I will get to work.
10:30am No sign of bus #2. Contemplate hitchiking. Hop on one of those crazy Mexican vans that charge $1 to go to the GW Bridge.
11am Call boss and say I'm on my way. She insists it's fine, just take my time and get to work safe. Pretty much tell boss that I love her. Worry about crossing the line with boss. Oops.
11:15am Hop in cab at GWB. Give cabbie my work address, knowing the ride will only amount to $5.25. Affordable.
11:20am Cabbie keeps making conversation. I'm pissed and don't want to talk. What was once a productive morning is now ruined. Spot a sign behind cabbie's driver's seat that says, "I have a small dick. I like it up the ass." I assume the cabbie didn't know it was there, so I take it off and hand it to him. Some assholes probably put it there. He seems embarrassed. Secretly beat myself up for not just throwing it away myself, so as not to hurt his feelings.
11:30am Arrive to work in one piece. Cabbie charges $5.25. Give cabbie a $20, ask for $13 back. He only has $10s and $20. WTF?! So I paid $10 for a cab ride. Secretly curse myself for not leaving the little penis note on back of driver's seat.
What a shitty commute.
I knew it was going to be an early morning because I was meeting my friend Amy at 7am for coffee. I usually wake up at 8am. I have a whole routine. Catch bus #1 at 8:27am, arrive in Union City at 8:58am, grab Dunkin coffee and muffin, catch bus #2 at 9:07am, arrive to work at 9:48am. Little did I know, this morning, my routine would be completely fucked.
6am Alarm goes off. Hit Snooze.
6:05am Amy calls to make sure I'm awake.
6:09am Alarm goes off. Hit Snooze.
6:18am Alarm goes off. Hit Snooze.
6:27am Alarm goes off. Realize it's 6:30am and rush to get ready.
6:45am Walk outside to meet Amy. Realize that mornings are really nice. It's quiet and there are birds that chirp. Secretly wish I was a morning person.
6:50am Meet Amy at Dunkin'.
8am After meeting with Amy, decide to catch an early bus, so as to please boss and get a head-start on morning. I'm a genius.
8:45am Still waiting for bus #1. WTF?!
9am Catch bus #1. Turns out the Lincoln Tunnel going into the city is backed up like a frat-house toilet. Leave message for boss apologizing profusely for the traffic.
9:10am Spot bus #2. Have driver let me off, race between cars to catch bus #2. Bang on door. He shakes his head. It's not an official bus stop, so he can't let me on. Luckily, I spot bus #1 still in traffic, so I race back and beg to be let back on the bus. He reluctanly opens the door, and yells at me for being so irresponsible.
9:45am Get off bus in Union City. Am too pissed to get another Dunkin' coffee. And I don't want to go to work with the shakes from too much joe.
9:55am Still waiting for bus #2. Leave boss another frantic message. Have no idea when I will get to work.
10:30am No sign of bus #2. Contemplate hitchiking. Hop on one of those crazy Mexican vans that charge $1 to go to the GW Bridge.
11am Call boss and say I'm on my way. She insists it's fine, just take my time and get to work safe. Pretty much tell boss that I love her. Worry about crossing the line with boss. Oops.
11:15am Hop in cab at GWB. Give cabbie my work address, knowing the ride will only amount to $5.25. Affordable.
11:20am Cabbie keeps making conversation. I'm pissed and don't want to talk. What was once a productive morning is now ruined. Spot a sign behind cabbie's driver's seat that says, "I have a small dick. I like it up the ass." I assume the cabbie didn't know it was there, so I take it off and hand it to him. Some assholes probably put it there. He seems embarrassed. Secretly beat myself up for not just throwing it away myself, so as not to hurt his feelings.
11:30am Arrive to work in one piece. Cabbie charges $5.25. Give cabbie a $20, ask for $13 back. He only has $10s and $20. WTF?! So I paid $10 for a cab ride. Secretly curse myself for not leaving the little penis note on back of driver's seat.
What a shitty commute.
Friday, June 9, 2006
Garden State
I'm not all that New Jersey...yet. My first impression of the state was Newark. Ew. I vowed never to end up in Jersey, and here I am, a Hoboken resident in my second year. In the words of Fiona Apple, Oh well. I've since gained some Italian friends whom I love dearly, I've taken every damn bridge and tunnel there is, and I get stuck in traffic at least twice a week. And I don't even have a car. I've even seen James Gandolfini from The Sopranos. In real life. Doesn't get much more Jersey than that. But Jersey people are so proud of their heritage. Well, I'm still proud to be from "Kansas" as you Jersey folk like to say.
Thursday, June 1, 2006
What is Success?
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded! —Emerson
I came across this quote tonight—I think it's an amazing thing to strive for. Granted, I don't think I'm respected by a ton of intelligent people, and I'm not a fan of criticism, which is obvious, and I've been known to be judgmental of others, but I would like to leave the world a nicer place...and to someday affect just one life for the better. That would be success. I think we all affect many lives for the better. I can think of 20 people off the top of my head who help me to breathe easier.
So this is sappy, deal. I've been sooo caught up in my own shit lately, it's ridiculous. You know, in my mind, I'm so consumed with the thoughts of others but when the truth is, we're ALL consumed, we're all self-absorbed to some extent. And if you look at it that way, everyone's so busy looking at themselves, the good and the bad, there's very little time to think about you. Or me.
Success to me has always been having a dream, and then going for it. So many people talk about this, that and the other, and they never take action. Anyone can talk. But can anyone DO? I think so, but some are too full of doubt. Moving to New York minus any income may have been crazy at the time, but I was so focused...maybe because I've seen what happens to people who let their dreams die. Once I actually did it, I found myself lost for a couple of years. What next? Well, I've come to realize that true success is liking yourself, really loving who you are, and then just being happy. Will we ever just be HAPPY? Something always gets in the way...but perhaps all we can do is strive for it. Success is a work in progress. At least for me anyway.
I came across this quote tonight—I think it's an amazing thing to strive for. Granted, I don't think I'm respected by a ton of intelligent people, and I'm not a fan of criticism, which is obvious, and I've been known to be judgmental of others, but I would like to leave the world a nicer place...and to someday affect just one life for the better. That would be success. I think we all affect many lives for the better. I can think of 20 people off the top of my head who help me to breathe easier.
So this is sappy, deal. I've been sooo caught up in my own shit lately, it's ridiculous. You know, in my mind, I'm so consumed with the thoughts of others but when the truth is, we're ALL consumed, we're all self-absorbed to some extent. And if you look at it that way, everyone's so busy looking at themselves, the good and the bad, there's very little time to think about you. Or me.
Success to me has always been having a dream, and then going for it. So many people talk about this, that and the other, and they never take action. Anyone can talk. But can anyone DO? I think so, but some are too full of doubt. Moving to New York minus any income may have been crazy at the time, but I was so focused...maybe because I've seen what happens to people who let their dreams die. Once I actually did it, I found myself lost for a couple of years. What next? Well, I've come to realize that true success is liking yourself, really loving who you are, and then just being happy. Will we ever just be HAPPY? Something always gets in the way...but perhaps all we can do is strive for it. Success is a work in progress. At least for me anyway.
