NY Fashion Week 2010: Alice + Olivia

As written for iheartheels.com
Always a Fashion Week favorite, Alice + Olivia's Spring 2011 presentation was by far the most stunning spectacle of the week-long event, in my little opinion. Decor was sparse in the spacious warehouse-like venue of NYC's Cedar Lake, but the energy knew no bounds. Only the essentials were present — row upon row of brightly colored mixed drinks, a glittering platform filled with paparazzi near the red carpet (assembled for only the most influential of arrivals — Nicky Hilton, Denise Richards, Mad Men's Elizabeth Moss, among others) and a DJ booth where one of my personal favorites was spinning tunes, Gabe Saporta of Cobra Starship.

Oh. And one minor detail. Toward the back of the venue was a stage that  resembled some sort of retro-style burlesque parlor. I fell in love  with what I saw. Model after model wearing quirky-glam confections of sparkles, lace, ruffles and feathers, mixed with the brightest of colors and boldest of prints. Picture last year's bohemian-hippie obsession on crack with a sprinkle of ultra-feminine details. Carrie Bradshaw but way cooler. Handkerchief hems, high waists and big, oversized accessories. Oh. My.

Giveaway: Sex, City & Ruby Slippers

Woo hoo! I've been given a pair of Sex and the City Hotspots Tour tickets (an $84 value) for a giveaway on this here blog. Perhaps it's because of all the yapping I do about SATC. But before I tell you how to win 'em, I'd like to make you NYCers aware of this little ditty:

*start PR pitch*

Sex and the City Midnight Madness Package
Take the day off work, fork over $179 and enjoy all things SATC on Wednesday, May 26, 2010. This amazing package is well worth the ticket price and includes:

• The Sex and the City Hotspots Bus Tour
• An Italian buffet dinner at NYC's Fresco by Scotto
• A ticket to a midnight screening of Sex and the City 2
• VIP admission to Marquee nightclub after the film (which, coincidentally, is where I stumbled upon Beyoncé and Jay-Z back in 2004)
• Special appearance by Willie Garson (aka Stanford Blatch!)

Click here for more info and to purchase tickets.

*end PR pitch*

Alright, as I was saying, I have a pair of tickets to give away for the Sex and the City Hotspots Bus Tour, which features over 40 real-life locations used in the show. Now I could attempt to give you a SATC tour myself, but I can barely pronounce Manolo Blahnik. So let's do this, shall we?

Contest Rules: This contest is open to EVERYONE. The tour tickets never expire, so if you don't live in NYC, you can simply use them during your next trip to visit me. OK, ready? To enter to win, you must be officially following my blog (you can follow using your Google, Twitter, Yahoo or AIM account). You won't get spammed, and you won't even get an alert when I post a new blog. It is there solely to make me feel like the popular girl in English class. The winner will be selected at random (by closing my eyes and pointing at the computer screen) from my list of loyal followers on Thursday, May 28.

Because I'm nosy, what would YOU like to see happen in Sex and the City 2? Want to see Steve grow a pair and put Miranda in her place? Sigh. Me, too.

UPDATE: Congrats to Sharon, who won the SATC Hotspots Bus Tour tickets! Sharon, please email me your mailing address. Thanks to all of you for following my blog!

Dating in New York

10:52pm, text message exchange with a friend.

Me: So, how was your date?
Friend: Fine. It was just fine. He's super nice. And cute. And brought us a bottle of red for the waiter to make sangria 'cause I said I like sangria. I just don't want him to take my dress off.
Me: That's OK, honey. He doesn't have to.
Friend: Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go out with him again.

Laundry list of amazing qualities. Perfection on paper. But we repeatedly find ourselves saying, "Ehh. I'd rather sit at home with my dog eating Greek yogurt while watching another episode of The Bachelor." I wish I had an answer. I do. But I can't help but think — it's no wonder that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda were single well into their 30s. Then again, Carrie was neurotic, Samantha was a slut, Charlotte a prude and Miranda, well... poor Miranda.

My Big Day of Fun

So I had my first surgery. No big deal. Basically, I had to get this small lump-thing removed from my right boobie. But that's not what I want to tell you about. I want to tell you about one of the funnest experiences of my life. And you know what? At the end, I remember being sorry it was over. No wonder they say drugs are addictive...

On the surgery table. All I could think about and/or look at was the hot, dark-haired doctor. Despite the mask and blue scrubs, I knew he was hot.
Me: Wow, this is so weird! Ugh, I can't really..talk.
Assistant: Yeah
Me: What's this in my nose?
Hot Doctor: It's for oxygen.
Me: Cool. My nose itches.
Me: Wow. My nose really itches. Hey, I can kind of feel that.
Old Doctor: Let's give her more of the local...
A 1/2 hour must go by. I don't really remember what I was babbling about.
Me: My nose itches. Did you take it out yet?
Doctor: Yes.
Me: Well, can I see it? I want to see it.
Doctor: I showed it to you.
Me: No you didn't! I want to see it.
Doctor: Yes I did. You were asleep.
Me: No I wasn't! My eyes were open the whole time.
Old Doctor: You saw it.
Me: Well, can I ask you a question?
Doctor: No.
Me: Can I ask a question? What are you doing? Are you using stitches?
Hot Doctor: Yes.
Me: Well, did you take it out? Can I see it?
Doctor: I showed it to you.
Me: No you didn't! My nose itches. This is kinda fun. Are you stitching me up?
Assistant: Yes.
Me: I'm sorry. I'm being so annoying. I just wanted to see what it looked like!
Doctor: We don't have it anymore. It went to the lab.
Me: Well, I just wanted to see it! Am I OK?
Doctor: I'm 98% sure you're fine.
Me: When will I find out?
Doctor: In about a week.
Me: Well, thanks! My nose itches.
I get up. I get in the fun wheelchair. The assistant takes me up to the Graham Cracker and Apple Juice Room.

So I'm sitting in the big blue chair..dozing or something. I get four cups of apple juice and six crackers. A hot boy walks in and I decide I'd like to talk to him. He's on Anesthesia, too.
Nurse: Just walk slowly.
Boy: OK. This is weird.
Nurse: Just try to think about something else.
Boy: Yeah, like women.

The nurses laugh. I fantasize about going over there and giving that hot boy a lap dance. And we'd eat crackers and drink juice and eventually get married. Ha! And I can say... "Thank you for coming to the wedding. We met in the Graham Cracker and Apple Juice Room." But instead I sit and work on crocheting my winter scarf. Sweet Curtis comes and brings me flowers, and I buy him Italian dinner. And he listens..to my incessant chatter. Oh, and my fab roomie Courtney gave me pretty roses, too. I'm lucky to have lovely friends!

Now I'm tired, and my band-aid is...scary-looking. And I'm pissed because I have to wear my bra day and night for five days. Women! You know bras are fucking uncomfortable...especially in bed. Unlike SATC's Samantha, we don't wake up in our bras in the morning. F that.

One Week

Things I've learned this week:
- Drinking shots of Alize at 2 a.m. is not a very good idea.
- If I sleep with the window open during a "weather change," I'll catch a cold.
- If I put this stuff called "primer" on before I apply mascara, it makes my eyelashes look really long, which really excites me because mascara is my favorite.
- I kind of want to invest in a high-flying kite.
- Black sparkly polish just doesn't look pretty on my nails, even though it looks cute on Hilary Duff. I just can't pull off the Goth Look.
- That He's Just Not Into Me. And the book is sold out.
- There are some friends in this world you can go a year without talking to, and then suddenly pick up where you left off and it's completely cool.
- There's at least one person from high school who thinks you're completely beautiful—and you probably never had a clue.
- I was really missing out on the fun of downloading music illegally.
- If I put too much oil in my feta cheese pasta, it makes my stomach hurt the next day. Gross. I hope I won't be a horrible cook forever.
- The Used sings that awesome song I like.."The Taste Of Ink."
- Your parents'll get pissed if you don't call for five days. They worry more than they let on.
- SATC reruns will never get old. Sigh.
- The October issue of JANE really sucks.
- Britney Spears is a complete idiot. Wait, I learned that nine months ago.
- It costs $105 to be able to serve alcohol in Hoboken, and no one will hire me two days a week.
- No one in Hoboken wants me to watch their kids, either.
- Maybe it's time to go brunette for the winter...?
- A lot of guys don't tell their girlfriends the entire truth...like they want out of the relationship but continue to visit everyday. What's up..MIKE?
- Target will take back anything, no questions asked.
- Just because it's cheesecake, doesn't mean it's going to be good.
- There are more Bush supporters than I thought. Boo.
- That I really am registered to vote in Hoboken. Just to make sure. Yay.
- The greatest birthday planner ever needed someone to plan HER birthday, and no one did—she spent hers at the zoo alone. :( I love you, Jessi! And had I been in Nelly's hometown, we would have done shots until we were playing strip poker at Denny's.
- Gray eyeshadow looks prettier than black eyeliner.
- My semi-new brown sandals really hurt my feet. Maybe I should return them to Target.

That's a lot to learn in one week. I think I wasted $40,000.

SATC, New Jersey Style

Geeez. Where do I start?! So I'll just provide an update on Tina's Little Life, sans the witty banter b/c I've worked my ass off this week for the 9-year-olds.

1. Met a guy. Seriously. My life is the epitome of SATC. Except I can't afford Manolo Blahniks, I'm not that skinny, and my hair's not that 'fro-ey. His name is Dave, and he's New York lova #7. Ooh...7's a lucky number. Maybe that means something! I tend to be v. superstitious, and I believe horoscopes, even though I make them up. But this reminds me..a good entry would be one that focuses on all my New York lovas. Maybe I'll save that for my lunch break today. If you're lucky. ;) Anyway, Dave's great. There's something about this guy that's different than the other six New York lovas. He's a musician. (Yay! Although, he's not exactly starving, but that's good. And he plays classical bass, not Blink-182 bass, but it's cool.) He's currently a paralegal, he went to Brown (Ivy League! I'm outta my league here...), and he loves sports. What's more is that his ex-girlfriend was on that reality TV show, Dream Job, where students compete for an internship on ESPN's SportsCenter. And she took third place, the only female to get that far. I only hope that he likes his girls girlie and not sporty because...I definitely didn't know that baseball teams play the same team three times in a row. Apparently that's common knowledge? Did you guys know that? But whatever. I'm totally willing to learn about sports, I just can't carry on a conversation regarding A-Rod, unless it's involving his cute-factor. But I love watching games, and betting on them. (I'm a gambling fool. Just between us: I place my bets on team colors, mascots, and locale. I usually win.) OK, I've really got to get to work. I'll save other updates for later! xo!