The Story of Marinara Boy

The city is never lacking in crazy people. Last night after a fabulous night at Down The Hatch:
Michelle and I, 9th St. PATH station.
Drunk Guy: Wanna have some fun ladies?
Michelle: No thanks!
Drunk Guy: Aww, c'mon! I need someone to put me to bed!
Me: Nah. I'm putting my friend to bed. But you can buy us pizza!
Drunk Guy: You like mar-i-nara sauce? We can have fun with mar-i-nara!
Me (with big, sarcastic mouth): Why? You wanna rub it all over our bodies?
Ew! What was I thinking?!
Drunk Guy: Mar-i-nara sauce! Tom-a-toooe.
Me: You know, you'd be so cute, if only you weren't so drunk.
Michelle: Yeah, it makes you really unattractive.
Drunk Guy: You like me?
Me: Nah. I like marinara sauce.