Call Me Votey McVoterson

I meant to get up at 7 a.m. to beat the voters to the voting booth. I really wanted to sport my "I Voted" sticker around the office. I got up at 8 a.m. instead. Turns out the lines here in Hoboken were atrocious this morning, and they weren't giving out any stickers. Bastards. My roommate thought it was ridiculous that I wanted a sticker. Maybe they only give those out in Missouri. Anyway, I was starting to get irritated with all the people screaming at me to vote. Ram it down my throat, why don't you? I'm voting, OK? Geeeez. So at 7 p.m. mind you, I voted. Those damn things are so confusing, I thought I was supposed to push "Cast Your Vote" after every green "X" I marked. Turns out you're supposed to press "Cast Your Vote" at the very end. No wonder my dad always tells me to read directions first. What do they say—patience is a virtue? I guess I don't have any virtues. At least I voted for KERRY-EDWARDS first. That's all we're really concerned about anyway. So now as I sit here playing Solitaire with Snood intervals, it's becoming quite clear that this IDIOT might win the election. Uh-oh.