Friday, July 22, 2005

BFF For Life?

Having friends in your 20s is no easy feat. You were only friends with those you were friends with in high school because, basically, if you wanted a social life, you didn't have much of a choice. Then if you went the traditional route, you went to college. You tried for maybe a year to keep in touch with your HS buddies, but it just got too tough, so eventually, you stopped trying. With the exception of a small handful perhaps.

Once at college, maybe you're thrown into a 9x12 dorm room with a girl you're forced to get along with, a girl with whom you'd normally never socialize. You get to know the girls and guys on the floor (if you're lucky, you've landed on a co-ed floor), and you soon realize that everyone's just not going to like you. You can try to make as many friends as you want, but they have to chose you, too.

Perhaps you join a sorority and gain 150 friends. You move into the Greek house with the white columns, only this time, it dawns on you that some people may not like you, but you may not like everyone else either. You learn that alcohol is beneficial in forming friendships. You may be chillin' with that Gamma Gamma Gamma chick over a keg of Natty Light. It dawns on you that you both love the same shade of lip gloss and that you've both recently shacked up with that Beta Beta Beta hottie. Voila. Instant best friends!

Then you graduate from college, and you're painfully aware that you'll most likely never be all together again. You may reunite at the occasional wedding, but it won't be the same. You're off to move to some city because you got that dream job (if you're lucky), with no idea how you'll have a life outside of work, because essentially, you don't know a soul. Slowly you build up your social circle for the third time, and everyone's flitting around, searching for Mr. Right, trying to keep in touch with old friends, trying to make new friends, and you just don't know who'll be your friends for life.

You make friends with coworkers, who then move on and get better jobs, and slowly you lose touch. Meantime, you're still struggling to hang on to that handful of HS and college friends who live across the country. You chat on the phone every other month. Sometimes it's awkward, and sometimes you can pick up right where you left off. Perhaps those are the friendships for life.

Truthfully? I still don't know who my bridesmaids will be. I think about it from time to time, and it always changes. I haven't had what you call "a BFF" in four years, so I have what I call "several BFFs." Some join the circle, some drift away, but someone is always there. But there's just no guarantee who'll be there forever.

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