Wednesday, August 3, 2005

The Deletion Factor

First of all, let's hope the need to Delete someone from your life is a rare occurrence. But occasionally, reminders of that vicious ex-BFF or The Ex can just be too painful to bear. Thus, The Deletion Factor comes into play. Sometimes it's the only way one can move on, but unfortunately, in Today's world, Deletion is harder than ever.

Before Deleting, there's some prep work that must be done. After crying over the fact that this person sucks, you must decide whether she/he is worth remaining in your life. If you're smart, the answer's probably NO. After all, what kind of a you-worthy person causes that much pain and grief? Take a couple of days before Deletion to accept the impending Delete Day. If you must, torture yourself by listening to saved voicemails, re-reading text messages and googling him/her. Because once he/she is Deleted, there's no going back.

D-Day
Sure, obviously Delete his/her cell number, so as not to call/text said jerk in the midst of a panic attack/rage. But to ensure complete Deletion, consider all outlets beyond The Cell. Delete text messages from him/her and messages sent to him/her. Delete saved voice messages. Most likely the saved messages are sweet, which can lead you to believe this person doesn't suck, and before you know it, you'll be begging for him/her back. NO WAY.

All e-mail accounts. Delete messages from Outbox and Inbox in your personal e-mail account. With work e-mail accounts, it gets tricky. There's your Inbox, your Outbox, Sent box, Deleted Items box, Address book, etc. Delete them. All.

That's not all, my friends. In Today's world where there's the occasional five minutes you're caught in your cube with nothing to do, you've likely spent time surfing the 'Net, creating useless profiles on various networking sites. Friendster. Um, he/she is not your friend. Delete his/her profile. My Space. He/she needs to get out of Your Space. Immediately. Delete. OKcupid, Nerve.com, Match.com, etc. Do you have a blog? Delete any comments he/she might have made. This person is not worthy to comment on your life, nor your superb writing skills.

Any gifts, hand-written notes, photos? Rip up and toss out. The extremes of burning mementos is outdated. Too hazardous.

Apr├ęs D-Day
Celebrate! Toast! Cheer! He/she is out of your life, and you can swiftly move on. Hopefully to someone who will not succumb to The Deletion Factor.

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