Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Single Life

I overheard (OK, eavesdropped on) a conversation yesterday between two guys discussing statistics. Apparently, the ratio of women to men in Hoboken, NJ, is 8 to 2. That means every guy in town can have as many as four girlfriends, and he will not be called "stingy." He's just taking his fair share, right? Well, I'm not that generous!

In today's Post: Manhattan tops U.S. for singles. Of all the households in New York, 48% are hoarding singletons! Yes! I didn't think I was crazy. When I left Kansas City two years ago (two years and a week ago, to be exact), didn't I say it would be easy to find a BF in NYC? Didn't I? Based off of that info! But have I been involved in a single relationship since my arrival? Have I? No. NO.

I have no solution for this. Nada. All I can do is wash my laundry tonight at the Garden Street Laundromat and pray that Mr. Right's plaid boxers gets mixed in with my bras and panties. He'll spot his man-like undies swirling around amid my sexy knickers (because I've decided to wear my sexy underthingies whenever I want—there are no "special" occasions anymore, no potential soireĆ© where my black lace panties may be seen), and we'll bond over...underthingies. And then we'll go to my apartment and watch O.C. re-runs while rolling around in our freshly laundered laundry.

If only my love life matched my imagination...

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