Another (Failed?) Attempt at Finding Mr. Right

When it comes to leaving my phone number on little slips of paper for cute boys, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson...after Frenchie. Especially when he didn't ever call. Nope. I'm known for making the same mistakes repeatedly, for instance, just on Friday.

Amy and I went to dinner for some QGT (Quality Girl Time). Our waiter was cute and I was smitten when he actually convinced me to order the $25 steak over the $9 burger and fries. If I'm going to go out to eat, why not go ALL OUT? It's better to actually get a quality meal every once in awhile than to order shit food all the time. Anyway, we flirted, talked about his tattoos, etc. I was convinced he liked Amy, after all, God forbid a guy actually like me. Especially since I arrived in three-day-worn jeans, a T-shirt and sneakers...and Amy was dressed to the nines—as usual. Ame suggested I give him my digits. Why not? So after several balled-up pieces of paper, I settle on this little number:

I have 2 tattoos, too! You seem sweet—call me if you'd like to hang out! -Tina (the blonde) 718-555-3078

Meanwhile, there was an older lady sitting at a table nearby, all alone. Our waiter kept talking to her as if he knew her, which led me to believe that she may work there. For fear the bus boy would toss my sliver of hope in the garbage, I decided to have this woman make my move for me. The convo goes as follows:

Me: Excuse me, do you work here?
Lady: Why yes I do, is everything OK?
Me (in typical Tina fashion, all ramble-like): Well, you see, I was hoping you could give this to our waiter. He was really cute and nice, but I'm too shy to give it too him myself! Would you mind?
Lady: Oh, yes, he'll be so delighted! Is your number on here? He's going to be tickled!
Me: Yes, yes it is. Thank you!
Lady: Actually, I'm his mother! Two beautiful girls giving him attention? He'll love that!
Me: Really?! Oh, that's so funny... um, so yeah... nice to meet you, thanks!

I speed-walk out of the restaurant with Amy on my tail. Yes, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Story of my life.