What's Black and White and Read All Over?

This morning, I hopped on the PATH train to go into The City, as I had two fashion-showroom appointments. I was running late, as usual, so I passed up the woman handing out the free AM New York newspapers. Upon arriving to the train platform, I didn't race onto the filled-at-capacity departing train. I waited 1.3 minutes for the next train so I could sit my lazy ass down. And I did. I sat down and sipped my coffee as commuters piled on.

Many of these commuters had newspapers: The free AM New York, the free New York Metro, the 25-cent Post, the 50-cent Times. I started to grow unhappy because I didn't have a paper to read, especially when I noticed the same cover story on all of these papers: A story about a tram that was stuck over the Hudson for 12 hours. Stories of people in despair intrigue me, and I was dying to know what happened in that tram car.

I looked at those near me, seats filled, many standing, as the train pulled off towards The City. Weirdly, I felt panicky that I didn't have a paper. I saw one AM tossed on the floor—under someone's white stiletto, but I was too embarrassed to ask for a dirty paper off the ground. I intently watched those reading AM and the Metro, praying they would quickly finish so I could devour their free paper. After all, who keeps a free paper? No one finished during that 15-minute ride. Such slow readers! I would look from the business-suit guy to the happily-engaged girl with bad highlights——please finish your paper! No one did.

I got off that train at 33rd Street. I was running late, as usual. I raced to the B train that would take me to Rockefeller Center, about six blocks from my destination, when I was stopped in my tracks. There, right in front of me, was a large stack of unattended (free) AM New York newspapers. I took one and went about my day. The Lord works in mysterious ways, my friend.