Sunday, April 11, 2010

The New York Cleanse

Donuts, bagels,  coffee, macaroni & cheese, pizza, pasta, diet coke, brownies. The occasional vegetable. My eating habits need an overhaul. My body needs an overhaul. When my sweet work colleague Nicole first recommended the Blueprint Cleanse, I scoffed. $200 for three days worth of juice?! No, thanks. That was last winter. It is now Jersey Shore season, and I intend to flaunt my semi-bikini-bod with confidence. Truthfully, I just need a kick start to a slightly healthier lifestyle. At 28 years old, the time has come for veggies and anti-wrinkle cream. Armed with my cleanser-in-crime Jami and Nicole's encouragement, I schedule myself for the three-day Renovation Cleanse — this is for the person who thinks french fries are a vegetable, aka me. And just to ensure that my insides are fully clean, I've scheduled a post-cleanse colonic. Sorry, being my friend naturally comes with TMI.

BPC suggests preparing a few days before by phasing out sugar, coffee, meat and dairy. So on Saturday, I quit my morning coffee (and we all know how important this is to me). BPC doesn't mention carbs, so I have a bagel for breakfast. (OK, and a smear of cream cheese...) Then I have some mixed fruit — something I never do. For dinner, I make stir-fry veggies, without rice. (OK, I tried to make rice, but I burned it. So by default... no rice.) I am on a mission to rid my kitchen-slash-living-room of any and all temptation. I toss my cheese. And eggs. Then, I spot a bag of jellybeans. Well, I have to get rid of them, right? So I decide to hide them... in my belly. Dammit. BPC also doesn't mention popcorn, so I eat some of that. And I discover some chocolate chips in the cupboard — I already f---ed up with the jellybeans, so I go ahead and eat those, too.

On Sunday, I vow to start over. In the morning, I accidentally eat half a frosted donut. Whoops. Then I have some mixed fruit, points for me. This is followed by an avocado and a tomato. Then Meagan comes over to watch a movie. She has a Coke Zero. I haven't had caffeine for two days. If I don't have a Coke Zero, I'm going to rip someone's face off. So I drink it. It. Feels. Great. Then I devour the rest of my popcorn. Needless to say, Jami did better with her BPC prep. All that remains is 18 bottles of juice in my fridge... to be continued.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Online Marketing