Sunday, October 24, 2004

The Homeless Are All Liars!

So I'm in the Penn Station Starbucks after an exhausting day of traipsing throughout Long Island picking apples* and going in debt outlet shopping**. I order a tall pumpkin spice latte with skim, and a package of two shortbread cookies (because I've been good all week).

I'm at the counter putting the cardboard warmer-thing around my cup when a scruffy man approaches me.

Man: Do you have a dollar so I can get something to eat?
Me: Ooh, no, I'm sorry. I have no cash, and I actually had to use my debit card.
Man: What about 50 cents?
It's almost Christmas, and I'm feeling happy from all the smog-free fresh air I'd gotten. So I dig through my change pouch.
Me: Darn! I only have three pennies.
He walks away. Then, I get a bright idea. I take one cookie out of the package.
Me: Hey! I have this extra cookie, and I don't really want it. You can have it!
He looks at the cookie, then at me.
Man: Well, I don't want it either.
Me: Huh! Well you said you were hungry! Liar! That's so rude.
He ignores me and walks away. A cute stranger provides his two cents.
Cute Stranger: Oh well. He just wanted money so he could buy alcohol.
Me: Huh! Well that's rude. I'm never giving money to the homeless again.

I'm one to give people the benefit of the doubt. He's homeless. Something probably went wrong, and it's tough to get back on his feet. Well not anymore! All I have to say about that is "Whatev. Beggars can't be choosers."

* Michelle and I didn't really pick apples. We rode in the wagon around the orchard, ate a couple of cider donuts, and bought some apples. Picking is too strenuous.

** I found some hot red cordoury pants!! Oh I've wanted red pants for years. And they were on sale! I suppose it was an outlet mall. And they were $15, normally $42. Bonus points for me!

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