That Girl (You Know The One)

So my coworker/friend Nicole is, for me, That Girl. You know the one — she's charismatic and always looks immaculate, even while pregnant and wearing 4-inch heels. When getting dressed in the morning, sometimes I think to myself, what would Nicole pair with this? Would she opt for the beaded necklace? Would she belt this cardigan? This is usually followed by me saying fuckit, picking up the same Get Up Kids hoodie off the floor and bouncing off to work in my Converse. Said Nicole has also bled into my eating habits. Afterall, it was her who first told me about that damn Blueprint Cleanse. She is the one who said that berries are better for you than bananas, thus forcing me to buy a bag of frozen berries that I inevitably threw out because they tasted like tart, tangy mush.

For fear of sounding creepy, let the record state that I am easily influenced in general, doesn't matter who you are. Whether I'm taking business advice from Jami, boy advice from Jessi, permission to eat croutons for dinner from Meagan or love-handle reassurance from Crista. While the aforementioned ladies make up some of my best friends, Nicole will forever be That Girl for me. The one who makes wearing heels look effortless, who has the willpower to only eat half an office brownie (not five), who at first glance appears to be the epitome of one of those all-together New York "fashionistas" — the intimidating kind — that I used to see in magazines and on TV while growing up in Kansas City. Yet one might be surprised to find that her humor (she was the one who loudly pointed out the peculiar-shaped sweet potato in the office minifridge) and inner beauty very much outshine her chunky cuff bracelets that I covet on a daily basis.

For instance, her 365 Heartbeats Project has me looking at life just a little bit differently. She spent the better part of an evening photographing me in the rain on a deserted New York street (see above) for this project. As awkward as this was for me... with N's help, I was able to laugh at myself. And ironically, it was a quick shot taken the next morning (at left) that she ended up posting — I like to think that it captures a part of my soul that is very genuine. That je-ne-sais-quoi that is inside of me and what my dad refers to when he tells me to "stay golden."

My point is this: Oh. I don't really have one. I told her that I would post about her cute new weekly fashion blog on AOL's Lemondrop.com (read it — so you, too, can be That Girl... or at least look like one) which got me to thinking, Is there anything that this chick can't do? ♥

Giveaway: Sex, City & Ruby Slippers

Woo hoo! I've been given a pair of Sex and the City Hotspots Tour tickets (an $84 value) for a giveaway on this here blog. Perhaps it's because of all the yapping I do about SATC. But before I tell you how to win 'em, I'd like to make you NYCers aware of this little ditty:

*start PR pitch*

Sex and the City Midnight Madness Package
Take the day off work, fork over $179 and enjoy all things SATC on Wednesday, May 26, 2010. This amazing package is well worth the ticket price and includes:

• The Sex and the City Hotspots Bus Tour
• An Italian buffet dinner at NYC's Fresco by Scotto
• A ticket to a midnight screening of Sex and the City 2
• VIP admission to Marquee nightclub after the film (which, coincidentally, is where I stumbled upon Beyoncé and Jay-Z back in 2004)
• Special appearance by Willie Garson (aka Stanford Blatch!)

Click here for more info and to purchase tickets.

*end PR pitch*

Alright, as I was saying, I have a pair of tickets to give away for the Sex and the City Hotspots Bus Tour, which features over 40 real-life locations used in the show. Now I could attempt to give you a SATC tour myself, but I can barely pronounce Manolo Blahnik. So let's do this, shall we?

Contest Rules: This contest is open to EVERYONE. The tour tickets never expire, so if you don't live in NYC, you can simply use them during your next trip to visit me. OK, ready? To enter to win, you must be officially following my blog (you can follow using your Google, Twitter, Yahoo or AIM account). You won't get spammed, and you won't even get an alert when I post a new blog. It is there solely to make me feel like the popular girl in English class. The winner will be selected at random (by closing my eyes and pointing at the computer screen) from my list of loyal followers on Thursday, May 28.

Because I'm nosy, what would YOU like to see happen in Sex and the City 2? Want to see Steve grow a pair and put Miranda in her place? Sigh. Me, too.

UPDATE: Congrats to Sharon, who won the SATC Hotspots Bus Tour tickets! Sharon, please email me your mailing address. Thanks to all of you for following my blog!

The Trials of Living 2,000 Miles Away From Home

If you know me at all, you'll know that not only do my dad and I have an interestingly tumultuous relationship, but he is also the love of my life (in a non-creepy way). The minute my mom passed away back in 1998, I immediately jumped into "parent mode" and have spent every waking moment since putting my pop in his place, lovingly bossing him around. I don't know why I do this. I often wish that I didn't, as it would save us a lot of bickering. But truth be told... deep down, I don't think he'd have it any other way. After all, if I don't take care of his goofy ass, who will?

Me (calling dad): Hi, I tried calling you yesterday.
Dad: Oh, I was at the hospital.
Me: Why?!
Dad: I just fell in the basement and broke my foot... but I'm OK!
Me: What?? When did this happen?!
Dad: Day before yesterday. But I thought it was fine until I took a shower yesterday and saw that my toes were going in two different directions.
Me: Oh, dad... you're an older person, you need to get these things checked out right away. Are you OK? Do you have crutches?
Dad: I'm OK, I just have a big giant shoe I have to wear.
Me: Well... why didn't you tell me right away??
Dad: Because I knew you would get upset and worry!
Me: This is why I worry. Because you don't tell me things. I would've told you right away!
Dad: You're right, and I would want you to. I'm sorry. But hey, I never lie to you!
Me: So, what, am I supposed to know which questions to ask you every day — "How's your foot? How's your wrist? How's your head? Do you have cancer?"
Dad: Is this going on Facebook?
Me: Yes.

My dad then proceeds to spend the next five minutes urging me to say a swear word. "C'mon, Tina, just say 'fuck.'" No, Dad. I'm at work. "C'mon... you're so cute when you cuss." Goodbye, Dad. ♥

Photo of Dad and I, circa 1981.

NYC Cleanse: Post Cleanse + Verdict

Wake up today refreshed and psyched that I don't have anymore juice sitting in my fridge. Am 5 lbs. lighter since Monday! After five days with no coffee, my first stop is my personal Cheers, where the baristas all know my name and how I take my joe. I know the stars are aligned when I see that the flavor of the day is my absolute favorite — Caramel Nut Fudge! I then throw them for a loop when I request skim instead of my usual full-fat milk. Practically skip to work, pausing to pick up some fruit for breakfast. Upon arriving to work, I don't feel like eating. Shocking, I know. I finally start noshing on my fruit at around 10am, and it takes me a good hour to eat it.

At around 2pm, I head to Energy Kitchen for a salad. Apparently they're giving away sandwiches from 12-2pm today because it's tax day. Um, OK. The guy at the door won't let me in because he needs to cut off the "free food" line. I snap, "I don't want your free food. I just want to buy a damn salad." I'm pretty pissed. 1. Your business is open. There are better ways to run things. Like cutting off the free food line, not the entire store front. 2. I haven't eaten in three days. If you don't get out of my way, I won't hesitate to go all Hannibal Lecter on you and eat your ass. He proceeds to have an employee escort me to the salad bar. After nibbling on my salad, I begin to feel a bit nauseous. Maybe it's mental, but I'm turned off by food at the moment. This is a first.

*rant* Since living in New York, I've found that my patience has worn thin, and I feel extremely entitled when it comes to customer service. I blow up at cabbies who don't know their way around Manhattan and at waiters who don't know their ear from their elbow. I can understand if you're new, but if you're not new, and you were hired to do a particular job, and you work at an ice cream shop and don't know how to say "flavor" in English, we're going to have a problem. *end rant*

Off to La Casa Day Spa for my um, first-ever colonic. I don't think I will go into too much detail after all, but if you're that curious about my poo-poo endeavors, you need help feel free to message me privately! It was pretty much what I expected — my um, "stuff" came out in a tube. Then I sat on a toilet for 30 minutes. 'Nough said.

VERDICT

Total Pounds Lost: 6 lbs.

Overall, Jami (who lost a whopping 10 pounds!) and I are both extremely glad we did it — I feel lighter and healthier. I don't even want the chocolate in the conference room. Well... not really. Not only do I get full faster (thus, eating less), but I think twice about what I put in my body. Granted, talk to me in a month to see where I am. But I do hope this "health kick" sticks and rather than eating four cupcakes a week, I only treat myself to one. Would I do this again? Perhaps. Would I recommend this to a friend? Yes. But I do think there are less expensive options out there. I mean, it's just juice. Psst... if you decide to try the Blueprint Cleanse, use this 15% off discount code. You're welcome. Maybe next time I'll try Salma Hayek's Cooler Cleanse, though they do make you drink a juice that's identical to my personal hell the beet juice. Erm, nevermind. Thanks to my friend James, I will be playing Whack-A-Beet on a daily basis, instead.

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NYC Cleanse: Day 3

It's my last day, yaya! Confession: I am really proud of myself. Yesterday, fellow cleanser Jami asked if I've cheated. I happily said no, I have not cheated, and no, I am not lying. BPC says you can have snacks like cucumber and celery if you really need to eat — but it's been only juice and water for me. And I honestly haven't been too hungry. By the time my stomach starts to growl, it's time for another awesome juice, which does the trick. Also looks like I've lost a total of 4 lbs. Final weigh-in coming after tomorrow's colonic. And yes, you're going to hear all about it.

Juice 1: Green Lemon
8:30am See? Even Sophie Sassypants wants nothing to do with the liquified leaves Green Juice, and she's been known to eat pretty much anything.

Juice 2: P.A.M.
11am Oh, Pamela, how I am going to miss you. Your pineapple-minty goodness has been my saving grace. You are the one BPC juice I would happily purchase for $1.79 from my local convenience store. But alas, you are only available in $200 increments surrounded by your less redeeming friends, Green Apple and C.A.B. Perhaps we will meet again after a few donuts and slices of pizza. ♥

Juice 3: Green Apple
2pm And you were just starting to get bearable! Adios, GJ.

Juice 4: Spicy Lemonade
3:30pm Meh. I have very little love for you. *Desperately wanting an iced coffee right about now.*

Just got this email from a coworker:

From: Coworker
To: Everyone
Date: Wednesday, April 10, 2010, 5:25pm 
Subject: Chocolates in the Conference Room
Hi all,
I brought chocolate back from Hawaii for everyone. Please help yourself and enjoy.

I was halfway to the conference room when I remembered where I was and what I was doing. FML.

Juice #5: C.A.B.
6:30pm Let the record state that if you like beets, you would probably like C.A.B. But as a result of a traumatic experience, my distaste for beets goes into a full-on hatred. Case in point: Out to dinner recently with my friend Rachel. Her entree comes with beets. I proceed to make faces throughout the meal due to the smell alone. Looking back, it was a bit rude on my part. Sorry, Rach. Anyway, good riddance.

Proceed to spend next hour talking Jami off the ledge. She wants to *gasp* eat dinner tonight! I tell her that it's like sex — so much better when you wait. Our "doctor's appointments" are tomorrow, and BPC says to ease back into eating "solids," so I'm planning on mixed fruit for breakfast, and a cheeseless green salad with olive oil for lunch. I have been thinking about Friday's food intake all week. I had originally decided on an onion bagel with full-fat scallion cream cheese for breakfast, followed by a celebratory Chipotle lunch with Jami. Then I remembered — my eating habits must change. If I'm going to have a damn bagel for breakfast, I better be prepared to have a salad for lunch. And vice versa. Chipotle and Fiber One it is. It occurs to Jami to mix vodka with her remaining juices.

Juice #6: Cashew Nut Milk
8:30pm I drink this with pleasure. Me: 18. BPC: 0. I did it!!!

Day 3: Done. (But my journey does not end here, my friends...)